A Short and Silly Story
by Mother Mercury
Summary: See the title, then read it.


Once upon a time, there was this boy

Once upon a time, there was this boy. 

Know what his name was? 

No, it was Harry Potter. He was a wizard, so he did magic and stuff. He went to this school, called Hogwarts. He loved his school, because it was better than living with the Dursleys. They were really mean, Harry didn't like them. He had to live with them because his parents got killed by this bad guy. You can't say his name, cos it's too bad. No, really, you can't. You'll explode if you do. Okay, that was a lie. I'll say it, but only if you promise not to ask me again, 'kay? His name was… Voldie-mort, or Voldie for short. If you call him Voldie, he'll get really mad. That's why Harry's parents died, cos they called him that and he got angry and decided to blow them up. Well, Harry has to live with his aunt and uncle now, and his mean cousin Dudley, just because of this one bad guy with a short temper.

One day, Harry found out he could do magic stuff. Actually, it was on his eleventh birthday. That's a pretty cool birthday present, huh? He got shipped off to his school and he met his best friends. Know what their name's were? No, not Dick and Jane, but that's a good guess. They were called Ron and Hermione. Harry had another friend, a very big man called Hagrid. Hagrid liked dangerous animals, he thought they were cute. He was an odd man, but not as odd as the headmaster, Dumbledore. Dumbledore was very old and he had a funny nose. Harry secretly thought he needed a haircut, but he thought Dumbledore was super cool cos he could do way more magic stuff than Harry. Who needed a haircut more than Dumbledore? Yes, Harry did, but not as much as Snape. Snape was mean, very mean, but very good looking, though Harry didn't think so. Harry hated Snape, he wanted to blast him away with his wand, but wasn't allowed to cos then he would fail Potions, which would not be good.

We will get to our real story now. Harry just came home from his fifth year at Hogwarts. He lay on his bed thinking of the strange thing that happened that year. I suppose you want to know what that strange thing was, don't you? Well, what happened was, nothing! Harry got no adventures this year. He didn't almost get killed, except for the time he banged into Katie Bell while playing Quidditch and he nearly fell of his broom and got squished. He didn't get to battle with that bad guy again, much to his disappointment as he found it was a good way to burn calories cos his heart beat so fast. Snape didn't do anything suspicious this year, so Harry had no reason to go snooping around the school as he loves to do. Even the new DADA teacher had no deep secret that came up for Harry to think he was a bad man who worked for the bad guy. Harry was feeling very sad.

Harry thought maybe he should be happy cos he's still alive and didn't end up in the hospital wing once. Well, he did once, but he doesn't want me to tell you about that, it's a bit embarrassing. His hopes had been high at the beginning of the year when he found out that the new book title was The Order of the Phoenix. What an exciting title, he thought, I'm sure to have big adventures this year! Maybe I'll even find a new secret passage to use! That would be fun! But, alas, no such luck for Harry Potter. Turns out the Order of the Phoenix was just some silly club that Dumbledore belonged to, because he has a pet phoenix. Harry thought the club was stupid, because there were only four other members.

Harry's friend Ron had an adventure though. One night, he sneaked to the kitchen for some food. But, disaster struck and he got food poisoning! He had to spend the next 2 days in the hospital wing and he grew scales! They disappeared after a while, much to the dismay of Draco Malfoy, the bad boy at Hogwarts. Hermione also had an adventure in the broom closet with a certain Mr. Potter. 'Tis another thing Harry has told me not to talk about, as he ended in the same closet with Ron's sister, Ginny. Well, Hermione wasn't too happy about this, and she did a bad thing! Know what it was? Not that, but close! She went to the closet with none other that Draco Malfoy! My, how angry Harry was, but he deserved it because he was mean to Hermione. Oops, will you look at that, I let Harry's secret slip. Silly me. Maybe Harry had some adventures after all!

Well, Harry didn't know the title of the sixth book yet, but he was sure it would be better that the fifth one. Was Harry right? That's another story…


End file.
